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A Study In Opposites

You could search the entire Earth and not find two people different then my son and daughter.  I was watching them together the other day in the house and was truly amazed at the differences between the two.  Let me share….

My daughter – so first, she is a girl.  That in itself is a major difference and those biological anatomical differences become more apparent the older they both get.  Outside of that obvious stuff my daughter is ambitious.   She has drive and a desire to be the best boarding on perfectionism.  She can make friends with anyone, I have seen it myself.  She just has never met a stranger, and really is only beginning to learn the pleasures of solitude.  This means of course she is constantly talking.  She is endlessly curious about “why”.  She accepts very little without trying to first understand the why of it.  These are strong traits that will serve her very well as she grows.  But there is weakness in every strength and her need to always understand and be with others can at times generate anxiety and stress for her.  Most people know this stress and find a balance with it.  I myself and still learning this balance but my daughter has a HUGE advantage to learning this balance….her brother.

My son is everything his sister is not.  He is quiet, like a ninja.  We joke that part of why he doesn’t talk much is because his sister uses 80% of the oxygen in the room so he just doesn’t have much left to work with.  He doesn’t really need or seem interested in a lot of friends.  While planning his birthday party he wanted only a few family members and his kindergarten teacher, he said no to everyone else.  He also just readily accepts his world.  He isn’t really interested in the why of anything.  Curious, sure, but what is, is what is for him.  If something goes against his plans there is a little breath and then you can almost see him shrug and just move on.  He enjoys being alone and while he enjoys hugs, kisses and tickles he is perfectly content playing with toys in his room.  He isn’t interested in anyone else’s agenda, not even his teacher.  He does things as he wants to do them and if he doesn’t want to, simple piddles around until he is ready to get it done.  In our society it could be harder to see the advantages to his personality but with his sister as a contrast it is easier.

Most parents learn from their kids and I am very blessed to have children that let me learn from a wide range of perspectives.  My prayer and hope is that as they continue to grow with each other that they will learn and see the advantages in each other too.  That they will be able to establish a balance by interacting with one another and seeing how their sibling deals with a similar problem.  That might not happen until they are 20 but hey, better now than never.

 

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