Ok, you know when you go to college and hang out with your girlfriends? You talk, probably drink a little (or maybe a lot), giggle, dancing. You know?? I don’t – I didn’t do any of that. Never have. Ever… Didn’t think I was missing out until the last few years. I meant some girls at work and actually enjoyed doing girlie things – shopping and stuff. It was very bizarre. In recent months I’ve been thinking about that lost time. About girlfriends to hang out with and I have been trying to figure out what I even really want and or need from friendships like that. You know – close intimate same-sex friends. I’m not sure why but my mind went immediately to Sex in the City, which is ironic since I have never watched the show. But I thought to myself, those are the kinds of friends I want. Girls I can call when I have a bad day and they come over with chocolate and wine. Or take me to dinner with cheesecake. Girls that will celebrate with ME when my daughter or son reaches a milestone or when I get a great professional opportunity or at the start of a romance. But as I was thinking about it I realized I don’t really want Sex in the City friends (again, I’ve never seen the show) I want Goddess friends.
I want to have a few women that I can be a woman with. I want to enjoy girl things and talk about girl stuff and think in girl ways. I want to surround myself with women that are warriors and lovers. Women that seek meaning in their lives and encourage that for others. Women that aren’t afraid to be women.
See I don’t have many girlfriends, maybe 2?? Maybe…and the reason is I was burned bad by friends in high school. I moved in the 4th grade and just had a hard time finding my place with the new peer group. It never really got easier and so I ended up bitter and resentful. I am only now beginning to see how much I have maybe missed.
And I’m finding it is important. It’s important to have a group of girls I can go to and have fun with and cry with. I have tried and failed to put all of that into my opposite sex relationships and it did not work.
So this post is my call out to the Universe, to God, to show me those women. Turn a spotlight on them and show me how to grow those relationships. The Goddess Girls that will continue to help shape my life and whose life I can help shape too.
And thank you – cause I know they are there.