In the last several months I have honestly thought about going to a busy shopping center or downtown street and just singing. In front of everyone, just to see what would happen. I haven’t done this. I am scared. What brings it to my mind right now is a post a friend shared on Facebook the other day. It lead to this fabulous video clip with a very cool street performance. I watched the whole video with a huge smile on my face. Letting the music wash over me. And I was so grateful for those performers bringing something magnificent and beautiful to our lives. Even though I wasn’t there to actually see it, the joy I got from watching the video was wonderful.
I don’t know any details of this video. I don’t know if it was fake, obviously it was well thought out and planned. But you know what, I’m not sure I care. I’ve seen several videos like this, this is not the only one. All of them make me smile. It got me to thinking about singing on the busy street again, wondering why I don’t do it. Why don’t we do those things? What judgment are we afraid of? The worst I can imagine in my own mind is the police coming to tell me to stop because I don’t have a permit. But so? I mean so I would stop and so what? What if someone told me I wasn’t any good? But so?
The other question I ask myself about this is why do I even want to do it. As a recovering people pleaser I am terrified that my actions are “unhealthy” because I might be looking for approval outside of myself. Something I am trying desperately to not do. So if not for approval why would I even want to sing in front of others? It seems arrogant to say that I want to share my voice because I think people would like it – but what if that is true? What if it isn’t for approval, what if it is truly a gift for someone?
I struggle with these questions, and I don’t have answers to them. And I have yet to go through on my idea. And then I watch videos like this one and wonder what our world would be like if we all did this? Not sing in public, or dance, or play an instrument, but what if we all gave with no fear of rejection or judgment? What if we took the best that we have been given and shared it with everyone? Not just the people we are close to or a select few in our community, but with the world? What would happen to us if we did that?
I haven’t gone to the mall and started belting it out but here is my small step in that direction. Here is me trying to give and not for the approval of it, but just because I wanted to. Here is me trying to Live Out Loud.