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It Just Is

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out the right thing to do.  What is right for my children, for my career, for my friends, my family, for me.  I have heard it said in many different ways that acceptance is the key to a happy life.  Learning that acceptance doesn’t mean allowing anything goes or not wanting things to be different is still something I struggle with.  I mean if you accept, why change??  But that isn’t what it means, because life is growth and change.  It is the very definition of the life – to evolve.  So then why accept? I mean really, if life is about growth and change why would you accept anything?  But if acceptance is happiness and contentment then why grow?  It’s this insane circular argument that, when I am in a not so good place, becomes impossible to answer.

When I have taken time to center and calm and reconnect with Faith I know that, in at least a small way, the secret to understanding this is in the human need to label.  We have something inside of us that says we like something or we don’t.  It’s a physiologically thing, measurable by science.  Something happens that causes some sort of stress that releases hormones and we need some way to explain to ourselves and others what it is.  So we have to label; wrong, bad, icky, pick an adjective.  The same is true for good things.  We experience something that sends us feel good hormones.  We need to explain so we have to find a word; wonderful, good, right… etc.  But in reality and in order to get to that place of acceptance we have to understand that things aren’t good or bad – they just are.

Jesus said that he came to bear witness to the Truth.  When asked what Truth was he didn’t answer, because there is no answer.  Truth just is.  In the same way that Love is.  Or that I am.  I am.  I have been put on this Earth (I believe) to bear witness to my Truth.  To shine my Truth of God – and there is no label for that, it just is.  It is defined not in words; but by actions, feelings, relationships, thoughts in a way that I may only be able to understand.  And in a complex simplicity that I am only beginning to understand, my life is my Truth which means that my life isn’t good or bad; it just is.  If I make a choice in line with that Truth of me then I will live the most honest life I can.  To try to decide if that honesty is good or bad isn’t really what it’s about.  It just is.

And there in lies the point – the evolving and growth of life that still accepts.  The event that causes either a positive or negative response inside of me that I am challenged with not labeling as good or bad and yet be able to decide to experience again or not.  That wasn’t good or bad Jennie, it just was.  Do you want to do it again or not?  I suppose that is what makes life not a destination, but a journey.  There isn’t really a destination for life, life is to discover the Truth of yourself – good or bad; cause it just is.

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