Know Thy Self…
That’s the saying I strive for. The one I’m told will ultimately be the most beneficial to my time here on Earth. And I think I do know myself; in as much as I can right now. Cause I’m also a WIP (work in progress). I’m not done cooking yet, there are things I don’t know. For a long time I have felt pressure to know the right answer to things. I have felt pressure to answer questions like; What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? And I have felt like my answers were concrete so I avoid answering those questions. I don’t want to avoid those questions any more and so I need to declare, to myself and the world,
I can change my mind.
Who I am and what I want now might not be who I am or what I’m doing in 5 days, let alone 5 years. And I am finally comfortable saying that it’s suppose to be that way, I’m not going to feel guilty for being honest with myself about that. I DON’T KNOW!
Each day I live I am blessed with something new. With a possibility to bring me closer to Truth and I’m not arrogant enough to say I have that figured out yet – I don’t know it all. And I won’t know it till I’m living it and I’m going to be ok with that answer. I am happy to be a Work In Progress. I want to change and grow – that is life.
Life is change.
Stasis is death.
So I will no longer feel guilty for being somewhat ambiguous in answering those questions. I will no longer feel “less than” for being honest in saying I don’t know I haven’t tried that yet. I will celebrate the fact that I don’t know – that I am actively learning who I am and that process won’t end until I end which I trust won’t be for a while.
Wanna celebrate with me?
So my daughter stood in front of her mirror the other day and wrote all over with a dry erase marker. I do this and my bathroom mirror currently has a few little reminders for me. Her little notes are outstanding and, on a day where I was feeling a little down, they made me feel like I’m doing a good job of being a mom. Her mirror is below, happy reading!
I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out the right thing to do. What is right for my children, for my career, for my friends, my family, for me. I have heard it said in many different ways that acceptance is the key to a happy life. Learning that acceptance doesn’t mean allowing anything goes or not wanting things to be different is still something I struggle with. I mean if you accept, why change?? But that isn’t what it means, because life is growth and change. It is the very definition of the life – to evolve. So then why accept? I mean really, if life is about growth and change why would you accept anything? But if acceptance is happiness and contentment then why grow? It’s this insane circular argument Continue reading
Finished up my first thread work project today. I really like it and I think that the woman I’m gifting it to will also.
I got a punching bag!!!! Love, love, love it! At one time (while in college) I took karate. I really enjoy martial arts and loved those classes but I went away to school and it got lost in part of my past. Several months ago I tried going to a few dojos in my local area and with single motherhood and wanting to be active in my church I just couldn’t justify the time.
Then the New Year came and I thought about exercise (as everyone does) and I don’t like to run. I don’t really have anyone to play sports with and I don’t have a lot of time to head to a gym or dojo. What to do?
Well – get a punching bag of course!!!
I love it and so does my son (check out the picture). I hit, kick and kiyai at that thing every morning and I LOVE it. Great stress relief, and this morning I actually broke a sweat which I don’t really enjoy. But when you’re kicking butt – it’s fun.
My son slugging the bag.
I think that most people would say that fear is paralyzing. It certainly is for me. I can be motivated by a lot of things; love, joy, even anger. But fear just takes it out of me completely. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the why of that for a while now. I want so much to not let fear stop me. I know to say that I won’t be afraid is foolish, fear is a natural, and in many cases, healthy feeling. But I want to understand my relationship with it. What does it do to me? Why? Do I experience different kinds of fear? When is it healthy for me, when is it holding me back? Basically fear and I need to have a real heart to heart and become very comfortable with each other.
I don’t have a sophisticated appreciation for art. I like art, my home is decorated with pieces I find peaceful or beautiful. I enjoy art museums but my understanding of it is limited to say the least. I have heard it said that you can learn about the artist through their work and that is the level of appreciation I have not achieved. I look at art and decide rather quickly if I like it or not and I could probably tell you why in most instances but no way do I have the skill to try to talk about what the artist was trying to say.
Having said that, my kids are the best artist in the world, and I have learned more about them through their art, particularly my son, then I would have thought possible. Let me give you a small sampling.